I’ve been bumbling through life… and I’m finally ok with it.
<—- Weirdo.
Here’s the thing: I don’t know shit.
The more I try to learn the more there is to learn. It never fucking ends. And it lights me up.
“I’m not young enough to know everything” Oscar Wilde
Having an “online presence” is so weird to me. And at the same time, I like the idea of creating stuff and tossing it out into the world. I’ve been craving creativity. I’ve been craving to share the dumb, strange thoughts in my head. I’ve been craving expansion. Something new.
And I don’t know where to start.
This October, it will have been four years since the accident. My whole existence being a trial and error of relearning how to exist. How to exist in what still feels like a new-to-me body. My mind has done a 180 on a lot of things. I’ve seen a lot of doctors. I’ve been to a lot of therapy. And I’m finally ok with just…. bumbling through life. I have ideas and goals, but I’m no longer so lasered that I don’t allow for being side tracked. Because sometimes that leads to a new, juicy bit. It adds to the pie, not take away.
At first I thought I wanted to build a business around fitness itself. And then I connected deeply to yoga. And then I started to think about mindset around fitness and body image. And now I think a lot about how it’s all in the same basket. It ultimately all comes down to connection with self. Just like everything else. That connection is so much more than just one thing. It also usually involves a lot of bumbling.
AND I don’t want to think of this as a business. It feels too… reductive. I want to share. I want to create the kind of content I would have wanted to have before. If it can help even just one person, I would’ve loved to have been that one person. If I let go of the idea of income, simply allow it to be a potential byproduct, I feel so free. Just free to be me and share. Because my sharing doesn’t own me or owe me anything. I get to do it, not have to do it. And that’s a very different feeling. No grind, no push. Just be. Bumbling.
Anyway, writing doesn’t come very easily to me. I don’t know how to draw. I’ve played around with making Youtube videos and I’m very very very much a beginner. I gotta say, the idea of playing and learning is pretty damn exciting. You may learn as you go, but you never get to delight in being a complete beginner again.
I’m going to bumble through it. And I’m finally ok with it.
So, here it is.
The start.
🫶 Lizzy
